Altadena, CA · Since 2013
Paco
Plaster Seagull · Official Mascot
Paco is a plaster seagull. He has presided over the Altadena roastery since the beginning with the quiet authority of someone who has seen things. He does not roast coffee. He does not take orders. He simply is.
He is, by any reasonable measure, the most important figure at Unincorporated Coffee Roasters. The humans are aware of this.
* All sales final. No refunds. No returns. Paco does not ship. By attempting to purchase Paco you acknowledge that you will not succeed.
About Paco
Paco arrived at the roastery under circumstances that have never been fully explained. He has remained. His gaze is directed slightly upward and to the left, toward something only he can see. Ornithologists have been unable to determine the species.
He has overseen the roasting of hundreds of thousands of bags of coffee. He has never once commented on the roast profile.
Why $350,000
The price reflects Paco's true market value, which is incalculable. The $350,000 figure is a gesture toward the infinite. It is also intended to discourage casual inquiries.
UCR has received zero offers at this price. They have also received zero offers below this price. The price will not be lowered.
Acquisition History
Paco is not available via secondary markets, resellers, or the UCR Shopify store. The listing on the store exists as a point of principle. Paco has never been sold. Paco will never be sold.
He is, however, available for viewing at the Altadena roastery. Come in. Get a coffee. He will not acknowledge you, but he will be present.
Specifications
- Material: Plaster
- Species: Unknown (seagull-adjacent)
- Location: Altadena Roastery, 3045 Lincoln Ave.
- Availability: Not available
- Price: $350,000
- Shipping: Paco does not ship
- Returns: No